Enneagram Type #3

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Description of Type Three: The Performer

Threes are motivated by the need to be productive, efficient, admired, and successful at whatever they do. Avoiding failure is very important to them. Life is a series of tasks and goals to be completed and they keep pushing themselves to achieve more. They are often disconnected from their deeper feelings and lose an inner sense of themselves. Attention naturally goes to tasks and things to accomplish.

Healthy Threes Are: Energetic, charming, optimistic, confident, self-assured, and competent. They make good leaders who motivate others to live up to their potential.

Unhealthy Threes Can Be: Vain, overly competitive, deceitful, superficial, narcissistic, opportunistic, and prone to putting on facades to impress people.

Enneagram Type #3 in Relationships

Strengths (healthy attributes)

· Can-do attitude and engagement in life

· Positive, active, accomplishment orientation

· Action oriented and hard working

· Strive to excel

· Disciplined goal focus and sustained effort

· Optimism, enthusiasm and hopefulness

· Practicality, efficiency and competence

· Commitment to constant improvement

Weaknesses (average to unhealthy attributes)

· Preoccupation with image and approval

· Tendency to cut corners and soften the truth

· Inattention to feelings and relationship issues

· Excessive focus on work and accomplishments

· Extreme desire for recognition

· Difficulty slowing down pace and relaxing

· Impatience and competitiveness

· Insincerity

· Altering presentation/language to “look good”

How to Get Along with Enneagram Type #3

	Acknowledge their achievements and successes. However, let them know you really love the person inside, apart from their accomplishments.
	Encourage them to pay attention to and express their feelings honestly. Be receptive to whatever they say and don’t judge them.
	Help them slow down, relax and make time for the relationship.
	Conversely, understand that Threes need to be productive to feel good about themselves so don’t disturb them or expect attention when they are really busy.
	Join them in a common, active goal.
	Encourage them to be authentic in their communication rather than trying to impress people with their image.
	Help them set limits and boundaries on work.
	Let them know you want to support them in nurturing their inner life as well as their outer life.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? My e-mail address is: grussrowe@cox.net

This page was last updated on 05/29/05.