Enneagram Type #2

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Description of Type Two: The Giver

Twos are motivated by the need to be loved, appreciated, and needed. They take pride in their ability to make people feel special and to anticipate and fulfill other people's needs better than anyone else. They appear cheerful, self-sufficient, and confident and are often unaware of their own needs. Attention naturally goes to others’ needs and desires.

Healthy Twos Are: Warm, generous, empathic, enthusiastic, and nurturing. They relate easily to people, enjoy giving to others, and are capable of unconditional love.

Unhealthy Twos Can Be: Manipulative, clingy, indirect, possessive, martyr-like, and preoccupied with gaining approval.

Enneagram Type #2 in Relationships

Strengths (healthy attributes)

· Helpfulness

· Attention to the relationship

· Genuine warmth, caring and support

· Exuberance and optimism

· Adaptability and flexibility

· Sensitivity to the needs and feelings of others

· Open-heartedness, appreciativeness and generosity

· Social skills

· Liveliness and positive, active energy

· Empathy

Weaknesses (average to unhealthy attributes)

· Difficulty knowing and inattention to their own needs

· Difficulty in receiving

· Overdoing helpfulness

· Preoccupation with relationships and connection

· Difficulty sustaining separateness (co-dependence)

· Propensity to give too much help and advice

· Pride connected to giving

· Anger when own needs go unmet

· Desire for approval and attention (expressed indirectly)

· Habit of altering self to please others

· Extreme sensitivity to rejection

· Difficulty with own deep (darker) feelings

· Tendency to become intrusive

· Can be emotionally manipulative and guilt instilling

How to Get Along with Enneagram Type #2

	Pay attention to their real needs and ask about them. Ask them to tell you honestly how they feel and what they want rather than telling you what they think you want to hear.
	Appreciate their warmth and generosity. Make sure to thank them for their help and advice – often!
	Reassure them frequently that they are special to you. Twos especially enjoy receiving praise, cards, gifts, and hugs because they have a hard time asking for them.
	Take a sincere interest in their life and problems. Don’t let them transfer the focus back to you.
	Encourage them to be more assertive. Praise and reinforce them for saying no, when appropriate.
	Don’t take advantage of their helpful nature. Encourage them to develop a healthy self-interest as well as their natural interest in others.
	Twos have a conflict with dependence versus independence. They crave intimacy but fear rejection. Be aware they may get close to you and then withdraw if they feel engulfed.
	Be gentle and tactful when you have a criticism. Don’t tell them they are being illogical or taking things too personally.
	Help them set limits to their giving so that they don’t become emotionally and physically exhausted.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? My e-mail address is: grussrowe@cox.net

This page was last updated on 05/29/05.